Ignited

Yesterday I attended the local autism group with Ginja. Before entering that room I knew she had autistic tendencies, when the doors opened it was like we were pulled right into the group and had been attending all along. No judgements were passed for her frequent meltdown and screaming events. In each one of the beautiful children I saw characteristics of my Ginja. I felt relieved and understood. Each one of the other parents knew exactly where I was because they at one time were in my place. They had all waited for a diagnosis, they all know my every day life. They knew how to make me laugh while I sat in My chair observing and watching the door to make sure my and their flight risk children didn't escape. I sat there taking it all in, and it's coincidental that group occurred on Sunday  because it was like "church" for me. For a while deep down I knew Ginja showed autistic tendancies, the drs pushed back and told me to wait it out she would come around etc. As I sat there I was happy to be a part of an unspoken understanding, and within myself I found peace knowing I was right for trusting my gut instinct. In that moment I became angry at the health care system for thinking it was ok to make children wait 18-24 months for a diagnosis. In that moment I decided I would not wait patiently and I became a determined momma bear. I came home and researched my butt off, staying up until 3 am with our sleepless Ginja. This morning I started calling. Now I wait for a few returned calls, and know I have an option for private diagnosis that could be majority covered by insurance within the next couple of months! I will not stop fighting for my kids and yesterday ignited a new flame.