Pre-Christmas Update; Love and Loss

I sit here staring at this laptop and wonder where to start.
Christmas is a hard time for me, it was my mom's favorite holiday, and it depresses me. If she were alive, she would make the biggest deal of Christmas, the house would be decorated. Did I mention I haven't even put up my Christmas lights and it is the 8th of December. I usually put them up with the kids so they still get the experiences. We haven't put up any decorations or tree, and no gifts have been purchased. Last year the house was decorated by now, and all the gifts were wrapped. This year was different. My new husband and I were happier than ever, our first Christmas as a married couple. We were surprised to find out we were expecting. Let me give you a little history, We have the three kids Lil Man-10, Ginja-3, Coco-2 and my tubes were tied with Coco's C-section. So much to our surprise we were having another baby! We were planning to wrap our first ultrasound picture up to surprise the Grandparents and a surprise it would be. I was in the spirit, this baby was meant to be. We were meant to have another baby, against all odds. And then in a blink of an eye it was over, we had levels tested and they were on their way down and then by the end of that week, my body had confirmed what we hoped was an error. We were reminded that life happens so fast and life changes in the blink of an eye. So this Christmas means that much more, we decided to let family know about our excitement and our loss, and we want to celebrate this year. We will celebrate Life and Love.

MARRIED

What a weekend, I married the man of my dreams and the father of my children. We had a little rain in the morning, supposed to be good luck so we will have to see. We had a wonderful day surrounded by family and friends, amazing food and drinks with some enthusiastic but awkward dancing. 

 Ginja is at school from entrance time until 11 and we will follow this for two weeks. She has a new EA and we were not able to say goodbye to her old EA and are definitely missing her. I am not keen on the new EA but let's give her some time she doesn't know Ginja and her tendencies. Ginja did escape from the EA while I was talking to her teacher, so I  hoping this keeps her on her toes! Keep ya posted

Ginja and school

I can't say I have seen a child love school as much as Ginja does. Currently we are integrating her, so Mon-Fri she attends from 9:40-10:40 am. She loves her EA which I was terrified if they didn't click. Already they have sent home paintings and she talks of playing with play doh. Her EA was impressed on how well she has been behaving and her skills in cutting play doh. School hasn't seen a full on meltdwown yet, I hope they are prepared for what is to come when she is there full days and is completely comfortable. The new school was supposed to open in September, then October and now the update is for January 2015, so I am just going to come to terms that it won't be until the following school year and move on from the excitement of the brand new sensory room and security measures that school would have held and now just working with the school to ensure the best security of Ginja. This is why she starts 20 mins after the other children and doesn't go out for recess yet. Even when she is sick she has asked to go to school! So we are hoping to keep her excitement up through the year and the next exciting bit will come with the new school. She is having a hard time understanding why she is going to Lil Mans school but he isn't, as they separated by grades instead of individual schools as they thought the kids would be in by thanksgiving. Lil man catches his  bus at 7:40 and is back at 3:30sh give or take dependant on the base traffic. Ginja is excited to watch for him to come and every bus she sees belongs to him. Lil Man joined the track and field team this year so early morning practices have me running all over. 

It just hit me that I am getting married in two weeks! I have so much to accomplish!! I have to finish my seating plan, card vintage suitcase, centrepieces (will preassemble) some extra flowers, waiting for grooms ring to get here, reorganize the house for all of our guests and a huge grocery shop!! I am excited but a little stressed as to all that I have left!!! 

Labour Day Weekend

Wow, where has summer gone? Well weather wise it hasn't felt a lot like summer here so it doesn't really sink in except that all the kids are home. On Tuesday Lil Man is back to school!! He will have to catch the bus and go to a separate school than his sister. Hopefully by Thanksgiving weekend the new school will be ready to accept all students. Ginja will start on the 8th with a staggered start. We also agreed with the principals that slow integration will be best for Ginja. She will start with one period per day and eventually we hope by Christmas that she will be full time. Then Coco will be the only one home and it will really set in that my babies are growing up. I think that's every parents fear is to realize how fast it goes and that their wee ones are growing up. So some of the school supplies were ruined by Ginja so need to replace those items, and we just realized that it's 6 weeks until we are married! So much to finish and it's such a short time, starting to freak out a little that it might not all be done in time, so finish my weekend housework and then to creating. Have all the flowers to make and some new additions that I hadn't planned on having but some ribbon roses, saw an amazing video tutorial and made one trial this morning. Also the bouquets, table settings, welcome bags, favours, kids activity book and the kids special utensils and a final dress fitting, and the grooms ring, since we bought him one made him try on that it fit and he got a reaction from the metals :( so I hope I have time to post  the tutorials, some new games and sensory items we have purchased so stay tuned....

Busy summer

We have been super busy this summer, kids playing in the water, lots of park time, family visits and lots of appointments. We are also prepping Ginja for school, something I had planned to be easy. I can't say she has been too hard to accept the idea of school but changes again with the school board put a loop hole in the plan. The new big school isn't going to be ready for first day of school and we are looking towards thanksgiving before it's ready. What does that mean to us? Lil man and Ginja were supposed to attend the same school but now will be attending two different schools. A change in our social story and hoping the adjustment isn't too hard for her. She was looking forward to going to school with her brother. I was prepared to drop them both off at school, now Lil man is being bussed and I am dropping Ginja off at school. The school she will be going to is now uncharted areas for her, we don't know if they will have a sensory room to help her, how the day will be different from the way it was supposed to be at the new school and then we will have another transition to face when the new school is finally ready. When I leave for work which is part time hours, Ginja is having a really difficult time with me leaving telling me "no leave me" which breaks my heart but I have to help contribute to our home and I have to help her accept she will be leaving mommy come September. 

A little bit of mischief when she was supposed to be going potty, while I was getting dressed. Ginja has taken a huge step in potty training now telling us when she has to pee, most of the time and actually peeing on the big toilet with a child insert. We are asking regularly if she has to go and I got her to poop just one time because I caught her sneaking away to go in her diaper. We have tried using knickers but she will pee through and not care, unlike other children she doesn't care if she is wet. Often she will jump in the sprinkler or into a kiddie pool fully clothed and not be affected. Her feeling of cold and hot are completely different from us. I can fill the sink with hot water for dishes and she is fascinated with bubbles, I use rubber gloves it's that hot and she can just stick her hands in and not notice it's hot. 

Her newest fascination is fishing, a girl after her daddies heart. She has a life jacket because she has no fear of water and will go right to the edge. We bought her a fishing rod just for her and then put an angry birds fish keychain on it so no hooks and she tosses it just like her daddy. She is also our child that is mechanically interested wanting to help her daddy change brakes, tires whatever job he is working on. Coco isn't far behind watching, observing and occasionally getting her hands dirty. Coco's speech is slowly coming along and we will be performing an ASQ in September with infant and child development, to figure if her actions are mimic of her sister or if we need to follow her for Autism as well. 

Daddy has been having some rough times, traumatic brain injuries don't heal like a broken leg or a strained muscle. It's been quite the adventure with drs trying different medications to no medication at all that was a horrible week, detox and pain to receiving physio and a follow up at the end if this month. 

Lil man is learning to cook, exciting and scary for me!!! He just brought out his first batch of pancakes a little crispy on some but not overly bad, so I'm going to enjoy them and will catch up with you soon.

Uncharted waters ahead

Phew Diagnosis in hand, now what was the question I found myself asking. Luckily I have found other moms with children that have been diagnosed. Jess has been the biggest help in my journey, always answering my questions as crazy as some of them have been! I am so happy they got posted to Edmonton for the best autism services in Canada and thank goodness for facebook and unlimited long distance, because I surely am going to miss her and our momma bear coffee chats. 

We had another wandering event thankfully a woman noticed her walking in her diaper and called 911, and hubby had called from our end. We noticed trend was when I left to take or pickup her brother from school and when I couldn't lock all of our extra locks from the outside. So we have installed a lock on the second door, bringing locks up to 5 on the two entrances of the home and more options being considered. We currently have an alarm on the second door at the front of the house so to warn us of escape attempts and allow us response time. The day after the second escape I was in meetings with the Military Police and Fire Department along with Canadian Forces Housing Agency to set protocols and find what else we were able to do, to prevent escape. I noticed that a lot of people who do not know anything about flight risk children don't understand, and I have received a few comments about oh how does she keep getting out, maybe try moving! Well if it were that easy then I would be all over that! I think it's time to educate some of the extended friends in our lives about Autism, I know I am no expert and still am learning but people may be less likely to judge if they have some background information. Today's goal is patience and education. 

DIAGNOSIS

The day has come! We officially have a diagnosis of Autism for Ginja. I couldn't be more relieved knowing the doors this opens for her and the support for our family. I am thankful I followed my gut and pushed back against the drs saying she was an average toddler with behaviour issues. Now onto opening doors.

Updates

Today out oldest is going on his third school field trip and is beyond excited to be going to a water park. I think I have heard something about this trip about ten times a day for the last ten days. 

The last few months since I last wrote have been busy. I started a new job in the esthetic field and am thoroughly enjoying myself. I work part time around hubby's hours so we are not putting the kids in child care. Hubby has not gotten any better from his head and neck injury that occurred in January of this year and we just got to meet with a specialist last week. Hubby has what they call an acute brain injury with some post concussive syndrome symptoms. So the next few steps will be an epply procedure to attempt to rebalance his equilibrium through his ears. The Dr doesn't think this will help but everything must be ruled out. Next step will be to stop all medication! I am not looking forward to this portion as I know how much pain hubby is in. I will have to take the two weeks surrounding this appt off. If that doesn't help which dr doesn't think it will is to start injections into the neck in the injured areas. The good news is there is no internal bleed and there are no breaks.

Our dearest Ginja. I'm not sure if there is a full moon on our everyday but she has definitely kept us on our toes. The meltdowns have been more intense and more frequent with a lot of stimming. She went through a throwing stage in her room so now all hard toys have been removed, she has her double bed and stuffed animals. We finished speech this past week with our best appointment yet. There was excitement to see her speech and language pathologist, good waiting room play with stacking blocks and an easy transition into the room. She followed the schedule, with minimal distractions but those are expected. I felt our Friday the 13th was going well, then the day took a drastic turn. I left ten minutes earlier to grab lil man and a friends little girl that we carpool with and hubby was home early so I left the girls with him. I headed to the bank and still arrived at the school well before pickup time. I was talking to another mom when I got a phone call that every parent dreads. Ginja had escaped, which has happened before and the farthest she ever went in the past was the backyard. We had installed alarms and a device called the guardian that keeps the door shut and is a three step process to open. While dad was putting her sister for a nap she opened it all, and escaped! The police were called and the search began, I pulled my son and the little girl we carpool from class and sped like a madwoman home, I called one of my hubby's friends that Ginja adores to come help us, he said he would be right on the way. About 5 minutes later he called me back to tell me he had found Ginja, turns out she had walked over 3 kms in ten minutes through a thunder storm and ended up in the general area of his house. I was so relieved that she was found, and by someone she adores. Our friend and his wife brought her in changed her wet clothes gave her a juice box while I raced over there. We filled out the police report and then I took her home to her Daddy. It was the scariest moment as a parent and we know she is a flight risk and have put proper procedures into place to prevent her from getting out. So next step is more safety precautions, more locks and an emergency protocol. I am in the process of creating a protocol sheet with two pictures of her, all her pertinent information like height, weight etc and identifying marks along with information for when she is found. She is delayed in speech but more verbal than some cases of autism that we know. I am really looking forward to tomorrow's appointment with her specialist in Ottawa. 

Soccer Mom

I am a soccer mom, but deep down I think at heart I am a football mom!! Lil Man is signed up for soccer and I'm currently sitting at the pre season assessment. We found out this week that our small town (which has never had youth football) has a league now. Dad and I agree playing both is too much as I have gone back to work part time. I will see every practice but will miss every game due to my schedule. Dad has already offered to video tape games for me. Ginja has started seeing her speech and language pathologist, boy was that first appointment a nightmare. She refused to sit down and do her work, was very distracted and had a meltdown during her session. I feel bad that I was relieved that other people witness her behaviour. It also didn't help she was up most of the night and I had to wake her for her appointment. Coco is running around and we have been noticing her covering her ears and we are thinking it's mimic behaviour but time will tell. 

So the season starts :) that means beautiful weather is upon us!

Mother Nature

At the beginning of the week we were outside with the kids in t-shirts and shorts cleaning up the garden and post snow melt. Last night it cooked right down and I was out in capris and flats. I had gone out to visit friends and to give my friend a accupressure point massage to attempt to induce labour. She is 40+4 and nothing! So I got home and remembered to turn the heat back on, thankfully because we woke up to Snow! Not the fall on the ground and melt right away snow either. I think Mother Nature is going through menopause!! 

The first picture is yesterday on my way out, I stopped at Tim Horton's and then the second picture is from my bedroom window this morning around 9 am. It snowed all day since I took this picture. I am so ready for Spring. 

Over the weekend we went to friends that live in the country, the kids ran around and played for hours. They came home and slept so good. We have put a double futon mattress in Ginja's room and what a huge difference. She is allowed to have her iPad until she falls asleep so she isn't crawling in with us all night. We have decided we need to pick our battles, I lay awake until I hear that last show fade and  her room go quite. Last night she was up until 3:30 am, but was in her room. 

We have been put in the wait list for services through Ottawa Children's Treatment Centre and also received a referral to a pediatrician in Ottawa to attempt to obtain a provisional diagnosis. I have to pick up our referral letter for a private diagnosis referral from the family dr this week. We have received some push back from them about insurance coverage. For a private diagnosis we are looking at about $2500 out of pocket. Insurance will cover 80% up to a maximum of $1000. Now a portion of the time is strictly with the parents and is billed at about $225 per hour, they want to see us on the first visit for minimum 90 minutes. Our family dr believes it is fraudulent to have my insurance cover that portion and to also have Ginja's portion cover her time with the psychologist. I don't quite understand that personally so I am hoping the paperwork is handled by the paediatricians office. We have been working with our infant and child development worker and also have a home based speech and language program in effect. Ginja has started stringing longer sentences together and has started using 5 word sentences. Ginja will start attending weekly speech and language session with her pathologist in May until about mid to end of June. 

Lil Man received an award at school last week for perseverance and determination. It is good to see he is pushing along as we had some issues with him giving up before. I have to implement our home reading program because the teacher rarely sends homework home, even after being asked for more. I have been looking at homeschooling websites and I want to start challenging him at home. He is very intelligent, just gets bored easily and frustrated when answers don't just come to him. I am extremely pleased with his reading, when he is done his chores he will play with his sisters or read. When we are travelling to visit family he will read in the van. You wouldn't know starting grade 2 that he couldn't read, and now he is reading well past his level. I give all the credit to his second grade teacher Mrs Robillard. She is by far the favorite teacher he has had. She put so much effort into her students, something that is rarely seen now a days. 

Our Coco! She is so full of energy always so happy, and progressing so well. It wasn't until I had her and have been watching her grow and develop, that I realized raising a baby could be so easy! She and Ginja both starting walking around their first birthdays, but I notice Coco talks so much more, is so independant and loving. She adores her big sister and brother. If I could have been guaranteed a pregnancy with no vomiting and a baby exactly like her, I would have a football team! My kids are my entire world and they are each individual and unique. I couldn't imagine our lives without them. 

Busy Month

March was packed full for this family. Dad  has a work related injury to his neck. Lots of TLC for him, and a long road to recovery. A lot of stuff still happening and a diagnosis of post-concussive syndrome. Attended a few autism related functions over the month. Illness dragged on in the children Coco is on antibiotics now after being sick for almost 7 weeks straight. Daddy bought Ginja an iPad mini and wow what a different child! We have implemented the home speech and language program as well as programming on the iPad and we got a 5 word sentence yesterday super excited! Lil man had some dental work done and was super brave not wanting nitrous gas and only the needle to freeze, much braver than I! To think of it they have never offered me nitrous gas, I could use a good laugh :) We just got the call for an appointment with paediatrician in Ottawa for June, just have to confirm details. In the process for referral to Emerging Minds and during this our family dr just up and decided to close her clinic! So now on the hunt for an autism experienced Dr in the area, as the offered replacement just isn't at the standard for autism care that we need. 

    I have been busy making flowers for the wedding bouquets. I am just getting into the groove and it's all coming along nicely. I started by cutting the fabric I to strips.

As you can see I need a little more pink but lots of creams and whites. From there, I looked through a million and one Pinterest links to find the flower style that I liked and follow some tutorials, then started to branch out with my own ideas. Cut a ton of circles out of the fabric, because most of the flowers you can make from fabric utilize a circle shape. 

A lot of work to make them perfect a few I said no way and tossed them immediately!

I have come to the conclusion I like shabby chic style flowers and roses. I can't wait to finish this project and to share it. 

Hearing passed

Our speech and language pathologist for Ginja suggested we have her hearing tested to ensure no concerns, as she has over sensitive ears and is really soft toned with her speech. So I made sure we all got a full eight hours of sleep. Dad wasn't able to get time off for the appointment so I was ready for the worst appointment ever (when family dr looks at her ears we have to pin her, she goes into meltdown) so I was ready for a nightmare appointment to occur. We went to Heritage Hearing Clinic in Pembroke, they set aside an appointment for two audiologists to work with her. Much to my surprise they were amazing with Ginja, she didn't fuss, fight or cry once!!! I sat back and watched them in action, they didn't give her a minute to doubt and allowed her to play while conducting the tests. So she is definitely hearing us:) The audiologist performed words with Ginja while she was in the sound proof booth, the other audiologist was with her and she pointed to the pictures each and every time and the audiologist said she could not turn the volume any lower and she was still hearing extremely well. That explains her over sensitivity. So step one done, rule out hearing issues. This week we also did the one hour intake with Ottawa Children's Treatment Centre and have been referred to the next step which is the Getting Started program where they will give us strategies for day to day life and start therapies. That call will take about 6 weeks to receive and then we will be seen in about 4-5 months. That is discouraging to me as a mom, as early intervention shows the best results. They are the ones who decide if a psychological assessment would be beneficial. So I have been looking into our options, I even called McMaster Children's Hospital where my oldest was born and they are at an approximate wait of 12 months, better but still not good enough. Fiancées family is seeing if their family doctor who is also a paediatrician can see her and our last resort is to take her to Energing Minds in Ottawa for a private diagnosis, which is not covered by OHIP and we can only claim $1000 per year, so there would still be out of pocket fees for us, but is the quickest route to services and a diagnosis. 

Above is our beautiful Ginja waiting to enter her hearing test. So time to flip the page and keep on trucking :D

Ignited

Yesterday I attended the local autism group with Ginja. Before entering that room I knew she had autistic tendencies, when the doors opened it was like we were pulled right into the group and had been attending all along. No judgements were passed for her frequent meltdown and screaming events. In each one of the beautiful children I saw characteristics of my Ginja. I felt relieved and understood. Each one of the other parents knew exactly where I was because they at one time were in my place. They had all waited for a diagnosis, they all know my every day life. They knew how to make me laugh while I sat in My chair observing and watching the door to make sure my and their flight risk children didn't escape. I sat there taking it all in, and it's coincidental that group occurred on Sunday  because it was like "church" for me. For a while deep down I knew Ginja showed autistic tendancies, the drs pushed back and told me to wait it out she would come around etc. As I sat there I was happy to be a part of an unspoken understanding, and within myself I found peace knowing I was right for trusting my gut instinct. In that moment I became angry at the health care system for thinking it was ok to make children wait 18-24 months for a diagnosis. In that moment I decided I would not wait patiently and I became a determined momma bear. I came home and researched my butt off, staying up until 3 am with our sleepless Ginja. This morning I started calling. Now I wait for a few returned calls, and know I have an option for private diagnosis that could be majority covered by insurance within the next couple of months! I will not stop fighting for my kids and yesterday ignited a new flame. 

Under the weather

I realize it has been a few weeks for posting, the entire family had the flu that turned to the winter cold and to finish it off I ended up with food poisoning! We still have the lingering cough and runny nose but I can handle that! We saw the speech and language specialist and had Ginja's assessment completed, her understanding is at an age range of three and a half so she is on target for that, and expressive speech is delayed but that was what got us the diagnosis to start with. Tomorrow we meet with infant and child development worker to do the intake process and get more help while we wait the 18 months to get into CHEO. So we are the steps to answers. 

Wedding! So I have decided to go with alternative flowers. I will be making flowers from material like chiffon, silk and a few other materials. That took care of the how to preserve my bouquet and saved us a ton of money on our floral budget. I may still choose some fresh baby's breath but will incorporate a lot of twigs, lace and burlap in the centrepieces. 

Look what I won from Julie Keon, www.juliekeon.com !!! I am so excited to attend this awesome show, she is doing a seminar on writing your own vows. We will be fortunate to work with her for our wedding as we have confirmed her as our officiant. Now we have to just pay the deposit for our photographer that I finally decided on!!! I had decided prior to seeing their work in person but are going with BH Photography based in Almonte, Ont. After seeing their work and talking to them at the bridal show in Renfrew, I knew I wanted to book them and they embraced our idea of a first look. Then on the Monday following the show I received an email telling me that I won their $500 off giveaway! I could not have been more excited!! Check out their awesome work www.bhphotography.ca

I am getting more and more excited as we start to prepare the details and finalize our vendor list. It also reminds me there is so much work to be completed. Look for my future posts on with some how tos! 

Something new

Recently I have found that sitting down to make a meal plan ends up with a regular set of meals, so I wanted to try something different. Boy was it a hit, Lil man are all his food as usual, same for Daddy. Coco picked out all the broccoli and ate that first, and Ginja well she are what she felt like before she was up in the kitchen asking for George which happens to be curious George cartoon on netflix. This is the repeat cartoon of the week. For those who don't know Ginja is being referred for autism. At 3 speech is minimal, potty training is a complete regression, meltdowns are frequent and nothing can help her. She has now started telling us no touch, which can rip any parents heart out. She is affectionate on her terms, noises cause her to cover her ears multiple times a day. She will escape anything (safety door covers, double stacked baby gates) and a fascination with lights. This are just a few of what had us urging the doctors that something just wasn't right. I have a friend who has been a huge help through this process, JK has been there as a sounding board for me, she is a mom to three autistic children, we had a play date and she saw the things I saw in Ginja. She has offered so much help and advice. I appreciate being able to text or message her for help, knowing how chaotic her days can get with therapy, and everyday life of her household of 6. So JK when you read this, Thank you for being there. You gave me strength to push back against the doctors and bring out the momma bear and I know how I feel when Ginja is having a hard day, and knowing you face this with each of your children and are still there to help other parents. You are a Super Momma bear. Thank you, those two words can't express the gratitude I have for your friendship. Our next step is our visit with the child and infant development worker on Tuesday, which is the start of our path to answers and help. 

Family Handprint Art

Over the Christmas Break we decided to do a few activities for the family and for our home. I am a Pinterest lover (might need rehab!!) and I love all the amazing ideas, so we tried out this handprint Family sign for our living room. This was a super easy project and all you need is a canvas (size dependant on your wants) I picked ours up at Dollarama for $3, I already had paint in the house and we also had painters tape and brushes on hand. So this project cost is $3, and the kids had a blast painting their hands and stamping on the canvas. Black handprints are Daddy, green are Lil Man, pink belong to Ginja Ninja, red for Mom and purple for our baby girl Coco. The part that took the longest was ripping the painter's tape to make letters, I would think you could use vinyl letters if you want something exactly the same and crisper. I rate this project a 1/5 for difficulty, if you have wee ones they may require some help from Mom or Dad :) I rate this a 1/5 for cost as well. 

Wedding Planning

Yesterday I attended the wedding show at Garrison Petawawa. To say it was busy would be an understatement. For the first 4 hours of the show it was packed! They had a walking fashion show, tons of awesome vendors and some good food to try. I fell in love with the deep fried macaroni and cheese bites! We have booked our venue, invites have been purchased, a preliminary guest list has been created, DJ is booked , dress purchased, bridal party chosen and so many more details are in motion. I finally chose my bouquet and that will remain a surprise but my girls will be carrying gorgeous flowers from Kevin's Flowers and he generously gave me the display bouquet that is their bouquet.

Simple and elegant, the roses will be cream or white that is still undecided. I really wish there was a way to share their amazing scent. After smelling these roses I know why the term was coined "Stop and smell the roses." 

As you can read a lot of the details have already been decided on, except the photographer! Not because I don't think the photographer isn't important but the exact opposite. Photography is SO important because after the meal has been consumed, the drinks are no longer flowing, the dancing has ended, you hang up your dress, you dry your bouquet and you look at your pictures. I also do not want to have to sell my first born to afford these images. I know the extend of the work that goes into amazing photography, it's not just take out the camera, shoot a few shots and presto amazing images. I enjoy photography as a hobby, so I know the cost of a quality camera, education, time in the editing room etc. So I am extremely stuck because I expect a certain quality but I also don't want to spend a mortgage on a wedding. Local photographers are charging about $3000  and to me that is a small fortune, considering I really want our wedding to cost us about $5000. I think of $3000 and what I could do with that amount of money.  I have been very laid back for most of the planning, so far from bridezilla, but when it comes to photography I have certain expectations. I want the details remembered, the dress, the accessories, I want his reaction to me in my dress, the decorations, our rings, our guests and all the other things that will blur by me on our big day. So the hunt continues...

Good food and Great Company

Yesterday I drove with a friend to Ottawa to shop at Costco. The drive is about two hours from the military base we live on. People look at me like I am a crazy person pulling around an extremely overfilled cart!! I consider myself frugal and I know a good deal when I see one. So I grabbed our usual purchases Kirkland brand wipes, Kirkland diapers, their toilet paper is a must! 2.5 dozen eggs for $5.99 that is almost what I pay for a family pack of 18 here. So after shopping I know Costco has an affordable menu but I have a hard time after being in the store with that many people who cut you off or walk in front of you or decide to let their children to sit and read a book in the middle of the aisle, with no parent in sight, I am usually at the end of my patience level by then and can't be bothered to fight for somewhere to sit to have a cheap meal. So my friend and I decide to try a new place that I have heard rave reviews about. 

This is an amazing chicken burrito at Mucho Burrito in Ottawa. It's a party in your mouth with seasoned rice, black beans, stir fry veggies and a generous amount of chicken topped with medium salsa for me. I then dipped it in some of this delicious smoke and fire sauce.

My friend and I also ordered a plate of Nachos to share and to be honest the plate of nachos are the best nachos I have ever had and no way I could have eaten the platter to myself after my very filling delicious burrito. 

Makes me drool thinking of it again! The gentleman that served us was extremely helpful when we told him that it was our first visit. It was an affordable meal considering how good it was. For two chicken burritos, two waters and a tray of nachos the total was $33sh. I would rate this a 5/5 and a definite try for those who have never been. I will be returning 

Hello

Good day, 

I want to give you some background information on why I wanted to start a Blog. In less than a month I will celebrate my 30th Birthday! Most people celebrate 30 with open arms but I am having a hard time embracing this year. 25 was what I thought was my hard year  to accept  but 30 seems to be lingering in my mind. I think my concern with the age of 30 is that was the age my mother was first diagnosed with cancer. I still can remember the day like It was yesterday. I can remember sitting there while our parents took us for dinner and a drive and my everyday world came swirling in. My parents took my brother and I to where we went as kids to feed the Canadian Geese in our hometown and mom started to cry, she told us that there was something that Dad and her needed to tell us. She had Cancer and at 12 years old, cancer was a term I had heard but didn't know the full extent of what it really meant. My grandfather had cancer, my mother had cancer it's in our genes. So 30 is a scary year to think about. At 29 I am a Mommy to three amazing children, my lil man is 9, Ginja Ninja is 3 and Coco is 1, I am engaged to an amazing man who has dedicated his life to our country, he is a Canadian forces member and I couldn't imagine our  perfect little world playing out anyway than the way it is right now. This year in October I will marry the love of my life, we will start the next chapter of our lives  and I think about all of life's what ifs. So my reason for wanting to blog is to have something for my kids to look back on. On tough days I wish that I had something encouraging of my moms to read. I do not have Cancer but why should that be a reason to leave memories for our children? I have looked at many ways to document our life, I have spent a small fortune on scrap booking and the furthest I got with that is about 10 pages of lil man's baby scrapbook and well he is 9 so I don't foresee completing that anytime soon. I looked at doing a Project life book, but the cost and my previous track record, I think there are better ways to spend a few hundred dollars, so a free blog seemed like a good idea. I could try it out, and if it doesn't seem to be for me then there isn't a pile of papers in the  house that the kids will end up using for cut and paste  while I cringe at the amount of money I spent on paper !!  So here begins the journey of blogging, a way of documenting our journey  in love , friendship and parenting.