I sit here staring at this laptop and wonder where to start.
Christmas is a hard time for me, it was my mom's favorite holiday, and it depresses me. If she were alive, she would make the biggest deal of Christmas, the house would be decorated. Did I mention I haven't even put up my Christmas lights and it is the 8th of December. I usually put them up with the kids so they still get the experiences. We haven't put up any decorations or tree, and no gifts have been purchased. Last year the house was decorated by now, and all the gifts were wrapped. This year was different. My new husband and I were happier than ever, our first Christmas as a married couple. We were surprised to find out we were expecting. Let me give you a little history, We have the three kids Lil Man-10, Ginja-3, Coco-2 and my tubes were tied with Coco's C-section. So much to our surprise we were having another baby! We were planning to wrap our first ultrasound picture up to surprise the Grandparents and a surprise it would be. I was in the spirit, this baby was meant to be. We were meant to have another baby, against all odds. And then in a blink of an eye it was over, we had levels tested and they were on their way down and then by the end of that week, my body had confirmed what we hoped was an error. We were reminded that life happens so fast and life changes in the blink of an eye. So this Christmas means that much more, we decided to let family know about our excitement and our loss, and we want to celebrate this year. We will celebrate Life and Love.
